When a husband and wife give gifts to one another in a spirit of friendship it creates between them feelings of comradery, affection and closeness. Giving includes a full range of behaviours from giving a material gift to giving the gift of kindness and everything in-between.
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Which is more beset by problems: a new marriage where so much has to be negotiated and jointly decided, or a long-standing marriage stressed by life's complex nature?
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What is as holy as Yom Kippur, as powerful as prayer and the secret of a spiritually dynamic marriage? You may not believe it, but the answer is The Mikvah. The traditional Jewish observance guiding the intimate relationship between husband and wife.
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This Sunday is my third wedding anniversary. This Saturday night is the third anniversary of my first Mikvah immersion.
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The Torah calls for a relationship between husband and wife which allows for the fullest expression of their love in a passionate bond. In turn, that relationship and its expression reflect a union above and an awareness which draw the couple together not only physically and emotionally but spiritually as well
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A friend of mine (an observant Orthodox Jew) told me, that during the time of the month that she and her husband don't touch...
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Some of our sages probe not only the words of the Torah, but each individual letter as well. The foremost exponent of this method was Rabbi Akiba. It was he who taught: If husband and wife are deserving, G-ds Presence dwells in their midst. If they are not deserving, fire devours them.
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I once gave a brachah to a friend that she should be married for so long that all of the handles should fall off of her pots and pans.
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In the beginning, a simple divine light filled the entirety of existence... When there arose in His simple will the desire to create the worlds, He contracted His light, withdrawing it to the sides and leaving a void and an empty space in its center, to allow for the existence of the worlds.
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At Jewish weddings I've seen this dance where people stand facing each other in two lines, and then run towards each other and meet in the middle, then run backwards to their original places, only to do it all over again.
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Judaism is very realistic in its understanding of human sexuality. It understands there is love between men and women that is unique and total, that reaches fulfillment in physical expression.
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When you get married, everyone tells you how marriage is hard work. Of course, you were too much in love to believe it.
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"Nothing new under the sun," wrote King Solomon in Ecclesiastes. According to the Torah, infidelity and other marital problems aren't exactly a new societal phenomenon.
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Why are so many marriages failures? And why do so many fail so soon after the wedding? We read about the first shidduch (match) in history. Abraham sends his trusted servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for his son Isaac.
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Cell phones, text messaging, emails and all that instant messaging, while created to enhance communication, they have yet to result in more effective interpersonal relationships.
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What exactly distinguishes a good marriage from a dwindling one?
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G-d is an unabashed romantic.
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If you are, or have ever been, in a marriage or committed relationship you also know this to be true. When two people are kind to each other, there is no stopping the growth of closeness, friendship and intimacy.
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It's not that we don't care about our home. In fact, that's how we got the hole behind the couch in the first place.
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You don't own intimacy
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I understand the reason I will be breaking a glass under my foot at the end of the wedding ceremony is to commemorate the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem some 2000 years ago.
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Is it normal to have doubts during an engagement?
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It is easier to initially learn the right attitudes and interactions skills than to relearn and retrain herself after she has grown accustomed to various nonproductive patterns.
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Somewhere along the line we made the mistake of assuming that such a wonderful relationship just happens automatically. We took it for granted. After all, peoplle have been getting married for at least five thousand years. If they could do it, we ought to be able to do it, too.
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My mother wants one thing, my wife wants another! How do I choose!?
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How can we bring love, respect and devotion to our relationships? It's easy. You already know how deeply to need to be loved and how profoundly you want to be recognized. Now take that information and apply it to your relationships.
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While standing under the chuppa, what couple doesn't hope for eternal shalom bayis, lasting marital harmony? The partners fervently pray that they should feel as good about each other in the many years of their upcoming life together as they do on their wedding day.
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Marital relationships blossom when a husband and wife not only tolerate but also celebrate the differences between each other. People need different things in life. Beyond the basics, some people need extra portions of respect, others love, while some people cherish autonomy and independence, etc.
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A good start in cultivating emotional sensitivity is by listening to what your spouse is saying. If he claims to be feeling overwhelmed, nervous, excited or upset, you can safely trust him to be expressing true emotions.
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Recent psychological research has revealed that there is a vast difference in styles of communication between men and women. The great differences in how men and women communicate, very popular in recent research, was recognized by our Sages long ago.
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A wise man once said that the most difficult question to answer is a question that has a simple answer.
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Everybody loves a wedding. The love, the excitement, the heartfelt anticipation of a deep and lasting bond. When we speak about the beauty of marriage, we speak of deep commitment and selfless, unconditional love. But what does that really mean?
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How do seemingly innocent interactions, the so-called 'harmless arguments', escalate into serious conflicts? Arguments sometimes evolve from small things that grew big
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What is as holy as Yom Kippur, more spiritual than meditating and the best thing you can do for your love life? You may not believe it, but the answer is THE MIKVAH - the ancient Jewish method guiding the intimate relationship between husband and wife.
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In a relationship, to surrender means unconditional acceptance and total commitment. At Mount Sinai, when the Jewish people received the Torah, they said: "We will do and we will listen" (Exod 24:7), they meant, "We accept You, God, as You are and we surrender to You unconditionally."
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There is a common misconception about relationships. Many people think that if I meet the right person, things will all go smoothly from there. If a relationship is bumpy, if we need to put effort in to make it work, it must be the wrong relationship.
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We have never attended a couple's retreat. We do not have a therapist. We have never had a his & hers spa day. We've never even watched an episode of "Dr. Phil."
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A relationship, whether with a good friend, a sibling, a parent or especially a spouse, is alive only as long as life is breathed into it.
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I heard an anthropologist talking about shaitels (wigs). He said how ironic it is that observant Jewish women wear wigs. In biblical Judaism, the rule was that married women should cover their hair in order to be modest and unattractive.
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I have an issue with religious Jews. They have this thing about not showing affection in public. You would never see a very religious couple holding hands walking down the street and certainly not kissing in public, as it is considered immodest.
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Heres a short quiz Whats is the best way to raise healthy children: A. Build their self-esteem? B. Give them lots of hugs and kisses?
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A gentle breeze causes the chuppah to sway, The Chosson's head bows, his eyes close to pray. The violin's haunting melody, wafts through the air
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Picture the scene. A young man announces his engagement and arrives at the synagogue to book his wedding. The rabbi discovers that he is a kohen and his fiance is a divorcee, convert, someone previously married out of the faith, or perhaps the daughter of a non-Jewish father.
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She glances round the house, at walls now stripped bare She saw outlines of pictures, now no longer there. She thinks of this house and all it has seen
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Even in this day and age, most women graciously accept the traditional "ladies first" rule, whether it's getting off a sinking ship or going through a ballroom doorway.
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The month of Elul is an auspicious month that precedes the High Holy days of Rosh Hashono (Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement).
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When you get married or live in a committed relationship, particularly when you have children, it can be difficult to balance work and home life. Sometimes these legitimate and competing interests can cause conflict. Here are 5 tips that will help you make home and work harmonious and improve all your relationships:
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Avrohom decided to send his trustworthy disciple and right-hand man, Eliezer, to find a suitable wife for Yitzchok. The modern mind finds it difficult to understand why Yitzchok agreed to allow Eliezer to choose a wife for him. Is this a matter in which one can rely on others?
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Why is G-d always referred to in the male gender? We call Him our Father, our King, and always a "He". Surely G-d is not a man. Why does Judaism perpetuate this patriarchal male dominance?
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Quietly I sat reading tehillim (psalms), with a handful of nickels and a small wooden pushka (charity box), as my hairdresser twirled my thick, beautiful curls into an updo. A bit distracted by the imminence of my upcoming wedding,
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As a seasoned marital professional, I have intimate knowledge of thousands of individuals and their relationship problems. I want to share with you the single factor that towers above all others, which when judiciously applied, determines relationship success or otherwise. That magic ingredient is acceptance.
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Thereare two main reasons people go to professional counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. One reason is to solve a particular difficulty in their lives that is causing them emotional pain. The other is simply to have someone listen.
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From Pesach to Shavuous is spring time, when love is in the air. no better place to talk about love relationships...
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I recently attended a Chassidic wedding. It was a very different experience.
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One person alone can make a major impact on any relationship. A marriage is like a seesaw: even when only one partner initiates change, it effects the other.
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Marriage is for growth. By its very nature your marriage will continuously give you opportunities to develop your character. The more challenging one's marriage, the greater the growth possibilities.
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When a husband and wife give gifts to one another in a spirit of friendship it creates between them feelings of camraderie, affection and closeness. Giving includes a full range of behaviors from giving a material gift to giving the gift of kindness and everything in-between.
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I have a good marriage. But I'm bored of my wife, and she is bored of me.
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The delicate balance of holding on tight, but not too tight, is the exact balance required in a marriage
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Somewhere, sometime, you were a child. That is an obvious fact, universally acknowledged, yet frequently ignored or forgotten.
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Children always have parents, regardless if the parents are married, separated or divorced. As parents, it is a major responsibility to raise our children to become healthy adults...
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An often asked question, it is one laden with assumptions, misconceptions and truly good intentions.
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Modesty can only enhance any intimate relationship and bring a couple ever closer in true love and respect for one another.
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Going through life with a spouse that we love is one of the greatest satisfactions in life. A small percentage of us have a natural gift for it -- the rest of us have to learn it.
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Total renunciation of sex is, in some faiths, a major discipline. In his autobiography, Gandhi calls this brahmacharya and praises its power of spiritual ennoblement. The Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox churches, as well as some eastern religions, require celibacy in certain holy orders.
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The Jewish home is considered a replica of the Beit Hamikdosh, the Holy Temple which stood in Jerusalem, and which, G-d willing, will quickly be rebuilt with the coming of Moshiach. Every aspect of the Temple was holy, for the spirit of Hashem, G-d, was manifest there.
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Clear guidelines for five components of a Chabad wedding to follow Halacha accurately and bring down the desired blessings for the newly married couple, reviewed and endorsed by many Chabad Rabbonim.
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Understanding the true function and purpose of love in a marriage.
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The Jewish wedding is a holy place. The chupah is a time for deep prayer and introspection.
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The man-woman relationship is more than a physical union and more than an emotional encounter. It is the coming together of two bodies, two hearts, two minds and two souls.
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Marital researchers can predict with an 80-85% accuracy which couples will divorce based on self-reporting information about themselves and their partner.
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I am getting married in a few weeks and am really excited. But I have this crazy fear that something will go wrong, like I will trip under the Chuppah and the whole structure will collapse on our heads.
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A great Sage, Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, in "Ethics of the Fathers", prescribed a formula for the existence of the world. He said: "The world exists on three things: Truth, Justice and Peace."
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