Preventing Halachic Questions
When a woman finds a blood stain, or spotting she must consult a Rav about her halachic status. However, the only time one is obligated to look, or notice if there is any blood or bleeding, is during the Sheva Nekiim- the seven clean days, and the certain specified days (onos of separation) on your personal Mikvah calendar. At all other times, one SHOULD NOT look to see if there is bleeding. Looking for bleeding when not obligated to do so, is looking for trouble. It can cause one to become Nidah unnecessarily.
Not looking for bleeding is not cheating the system. It is obeying the system. The Halacha advises one not to look for bleeding, and to prevent noticing blood, during times that it is not halachically mandated to look or check.
The following is a list of practical suggestions to women who tend to notice, or look for, bleeding at times it is not halachically necessary to do so. These suggestions will help you avoid having a question for the Rav in the first place.
1. Wear colored underwear - stains found on colored garments have a different halachic status than stains found on white underwear. (During Sheva Nekiim one is halachically required to wear white undergarments)
2. Do not look at bathroom tissues after use, before flushing them. (This is never halachically required, even on days when we are halachically required to make bedikos)
3. If you have a private bathroom, consider hanging a DO NOT LOOK sign on the wall.
4. Do not look at the toilet water after using the bathroom. If you have a really difficult time not looking at the toilet water add blue toilet bowl cleaner to your toilet (example: Tidy Bowl) You may also wish to train yourself to flush the toilet before standing up to ensure you do not look inside.
5. Use colored sheets on your bed. (White sheets are to be used during the Sheva Nekiim)
6. During intimacy, spread a thick, dark colored towel across your bed. Do not leave white undergarments in your bed. Wash up with dark colored wash cloths. Do not look down at the sink or shower drain afterwards.
7. If you like wearing panty liners- use black panty liners (can be purchased at mikvah.org)
8. If using a vaginal applicator (example- for medication) DO NOT look at the applicator upon removal. Have a black or colored garbage bag ready for the direct disposable of the applicator. Close the bag and dispose.
9. Only perform Bedikot when Halachically required. DO NOT do a Bedika at any other time just to see "what's doing", unless specifically told to do so by the Rav. Blood found on items inserted vaginally are very strict halachically. If you are not sure if a Bedika is required, ask a Rav, before doing one.
10. Although Hargasha translates to "feeling" a halachic Hargasha does not equal "feeling". Please do not perform a Bedika for a Hargasha unless you have been instructed to do so by your Rav or Kallah teacher. Always be sure that what you are "feeling" is actually a Hargasha that requires a Bedika.
If despite your best efforts not to look, you still find a stain or spot, do not automatically assume that you are Nidah. Do not dispose of the garment/tissue, etc. Ask the Rav about your halachic status, giving all the details of what occurred. The Rav will advise if he needs to see the stain/spot, or not. Not all stains or spots cause the Nidah status. Remember, the Torah and Halacha want us to be in a state of Taharah- ritual purity. Torah wants husband and wife to have an intimate life. You are not required to even look for blood when it is not Sheva Nekiim and/or the certain specified days (onos of separation) on your personal Mikvah calendar.
By following these tips, husband and wife may have more "clean" days together and may prevent becoming Nidah when not necessary.