Rivky Wilansky is a Shlucha of the Rebbe in Moscow, Russia for the past twelve years. She and her husband, along with their six children boruch Hashem, have a warm, open home. The focus of their shlichus is young Jewish students. As a certified life coach and Mikvah.org kallah teacher, one of her greatest passions and hobbies is teaching Taharas Hamishpacha and bringing women to the mikvah.
Here are some of her stories!
*All names have been changed to protect privacy.
Irina’s Story
The mikvah panel and tour was over, but one woman lingered behind the excited crowd. I had never met her before, but she looked like she wanted to talk – and so we did. Irina, as she introduced herself, shared that she and her husband were both Jewish, but they’d only had a Reform chuppah, and so she’d never been to the mikvah. When she saw the flyer for this event, she wanted to attend and learn more about this mitzvah.
Irina and her husband had been married for four years already, and still hadn’t been blessed with a child. She’d had multiple miscarriages, and they were under the impression that her body was incapable of holding a pregnancy to term.
“Irina!” I told her, “I would be so happy to learn with you, and I’m already so excited! I’m sure that you’re going to become a mother very soon!” Irina was interested in mikvah, but skeptical about my words. After all, her past experience had shown that she wouldn’t be able to have a child…
Shortly after, she and her husband came over for a few classes, and I could see that they were both extremely serious and committed to keeping Taharas Hamishpacha fully. They kept it for one month, they kept it a second month, they kept it a third month – and soon after, they were blessed with her first healthy baby boy! Irina had no doubt that this little miracle was her mikvah baby.
Yana’s Story
It was on Simchas Torah, in the middle of hakafos, that Yana came over to ask me if I was expecting. I wasn’t “official” yet, but apparently I was showing, and so I said, “Yes, thank G-d! And do you want to know how? It’s because of Family Purity! Remember I told you about those classes I organized after almost two years of waiting before I got pregnant with my first? Well, not too long ago, I organized a Family Purity class again – and I was blessed once again!“
I knew that Yana really wanted to be blessed with a second child, (her first was also a mikvah miracle!) and I really wanted to help her, but she wasn’t sounding encouraged. “I already gave up,” she told me. “We already tried a few cycles of IVF, and I don’t have the strength to try anymore! And anyway… I already keep mikvah!”
When I boruch Hashem finally convinced Yana to “review” the laws with me, I discovered, as I’d suspected, that although she did immerse from time to time, she had not been keeping the days of separation.
With some encouragement, Yana agreed to try keeping it correctly, but the first month was unsuccessful. She tried again, and the second month was unsuccessful too. On the third try, she really pushed herself to carry through till the end… but after, instead of feeling good about it, she called me to say that it had been a really bad experience. Too long, too much, and too hard on their relationship – and she wasn’t planning on ever doing it again.
I didn’t know what to answer. What could I say?
Turns out, I didn’t need to say anything. On the morning of my son’s bris, Yana showed up and excitedly shared the fantastic news with me: She’d become pregnant right after that mikvah!
Evgenia’s Story
I’d had what to do with Evgenia in the past – she even joined one of our New York trips to the Rebbe – but she had a very hard time with Yiddishkeit, and over the years, we slowly lost touch.
That is, until she was hit by a horrible nightmare. One night, this mother of a small child was suddenly arrested on the charge of being an accomplice to a terrible bank robbery she had witnessed.
Evgenia was released to house arrest the next day because of her child, but there are no words to describe the Gehinnom she went through at that time. She suffered from extreme anxiety, couldn’t eat, sleep or function, and she desperately needed help! She turned to Rabbi Lazar, who gave her the contact of an amazing lawyer. Evgenia reached out to the lawyer, begging her to take on her case as a kindness, because her price was completely unaffordable. Weeks passed, and this lawyer was not getting back to her.
When she got permission to leave her house for a few hours a day because of her child, I tried to convince her to use this opportunity to go to the mikvah. She and her husband had only been married civilly, and had never kept Taharas Hamishpacha before.
After being turned down several times, I pleaded with them: “Look! You really need a miracle now! The Rebbe taught us that the way to create a miracle is by doing something completely above your nature, something you thought you would never do. For you, going to mikvah will be a miracle, and it will cause G-d to also rise above nature and create a miracle for you!” Boruch Hashem, this convinced them, and for the first time ever, Evgenia and her husband kept everything properly.
As soon as I got into their car to go to the mikvah with them, Evgenia had amazing news to share: After a week of completely ignoring them, this top lawyer suddenly called them that morning, agreeing to take on their case! This was an open miracle, unfolding right before our eyes! On the way, we talked about the special opportunity to daven after mikvah, and they both said they wanted to daven for another baby. I couldn’t grasp how they could even think of asking for anything else besides for getting out of their terrifying situation! But apparently, they had even more bitachon than I did.
Evgenia found the mikvah experience to be special and meaningful, but her trip home was extremely stressful because there was heavy traffic and she had a bracelet on her ankle. If she wasn’t home in time, she could lose her “privilege” of leaving the house for those few hours, or even worse. By miracle, she made it back home just in time. And as it turned out, she didn’t need to go back to mikvah for a long time after that, because boruch Hashem she was blessed with another healthy child!
After having her baby, Evgenia went to the mikvah once, but she kept pushing off her next visit. Meanwhile, her courtcase dragged on for a long time, and the excellent lawyer assigned a lower-level employee to be in touch with Evgenia. Things were looking very hopeful, but close to the date of her final trial, Evgenia called me in a panic, saying that for a week already, this new lawyer had been ignoring her urgent questions! I reminded her that last time this happened, she received her answer on mikvah day…
Right there and then, she promised to go to mikvah on time, even though it would be a very difficult night for her to go. And the next morning, boruch Hashem, she messaged me to say that the lawyer had just responded!
The trial turned out amazingly well – and Evgenia knew that her commitment to go to the mikvah had once again drawn down her miracle.
Anna’s Story.
Anna’s family was only in Moscow temporarily. Although I’m not usually afraid to talk to women about mikvah, for various reasons I just couldn’t bring myself to ask Anna. Realistically, there was almost no chance that she would agree to go to the mikvah, and I was worried that asking her could even turn her off from Yiddishkeit altogether.
Right before the family left, I realized it was my last chance to try and ask them. And so I did – but not before writing a letter to the Rebbe. I included the full names of Anna and her husband, asking specifically for Anna to agree to go to mikvah at least this one time.
Then, I had a conversation with her. It had never felt so hard for me to ask a woman about this, but boruch Hashem, she said yes! I was overwhelmed with joy! I know with complete confidence that it was one hundred percent thanks to the Rebbe’s brocha!
After her immersion, Anna was extremely emotional. She expressed so much gratitude for enabling her to have this meaningful experience – and I was left mind boggled. I couldn't believe that I had almost denied her of this most priceless gift, just out of my own fears and lack of faith in her!
This left me with the greatest reminder that there is no Jewish couple in the world that this mitzvah does not belong to. It’s only up to us to speak with words that come from the heart… and to never give up on anyone!