I think we can all agree that in our world today, in the free world certainly, there is an intimacy crisis. We have a problem with intimacy. We’re afraid of intimacy, yet we agonize over the lack of it. Read More...
Recent psychological research has revealed that there is a vast difference in styles of communication between men and women. The great differences in how men and women communicate, very popular in recent research, was recognized by our Sages long ago. Read More...
When a husband and wife give gifts to one another in a spirit of friendship it creates between them feelings of camraderie, affection and closeness. Giving includes a full range of behaviors from giving a material gift to giving the gift of kindness and everything in-between. Read More...
Even in this day and age, most women graciously accept the traditional "ladies first" rule, whether it's getting off a sinking ship or going through a ballroom doorway. Read More...
I've found myself going out on many many dates and I'm wondering if I'm being too fussy. I'm waiting to meet someone and get a good feeling about him, and of course have things in common, good chats, and similar long term goals. Read More...
The Jewish home is considered a replica of the Beit Hamikdosh, the Holy Temple which stood in Jerusalem, and which, G-d willing, will quickly be rebuilt with the coming of Moshiach. Every aspect of the Temple was holy, for the spirit of Hashem, G-d, was manifest there. Read More...
Thereare two main reasons people go to professional counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. One reason is to solve a particular difficulty in their lives that is causing them emotional pain. The other is simply to have someone listen. Read More...
A gentle breeze causes the chuppah to sway,
The Chosson’s head bows, his eyes close to pray.
The violin’s haunting melody, wafts through the air
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What is as holy as Yom Kippur, more spiritual than meditating and the best thing you can do for your love life?
You may not believe it, but the answer is THE MIKVAH - the ancient Jewish method guiding the intimate relationship between husband and wife.
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While standing under the chuppa, what couple doesn’t hope for eternal shalom bayis, lasting marital harmony? The partners fervently pray that they should feel as good about each other in the many years of their upcoming life together as they do on their wedding day. Read More...
As a seasoned marital professional, I have intimate knowledge of thousands of individuals and their relationship problems. I want to share with you the single factor that towers above all others, which when judiciously applied, determines relationship success or otherwise. That magic ingredient is “acceptance.” Read More...
The Torah calls for a relationship between husband and wife which allows for the fullest expression of their love in a passionate bond. In turn, that relationship and its expression reflect a union above and an awareness which draw the couple together not only physically and emotionally but spiritually as well Read More...
It is easier to initially learn the right attitudes and interactions skills than to relearn and retrain herself after she has grown accustomed to various nonproductive patterns. Read More...
Marital relationships blossom when a husband and wife not only tolerate but also celebrate the differences between each other. People need different things in life. Beyond the basics, some people need extra portions of respect, others love, while some people cherish autonomy and independence, etc. Read More...
My Jewishness is making it harder for me to find love. The more I get involved in Jewish life, the less options I have for girls to date. To be honest, it is making me hesitate before becoming more observant. Read More...
The month of Elul is an auspicious month that precedes the High Holy days of Rosh Hashono (Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement). Read More...
How do seemingly innocent interactions, the so-called “harmless arguments,” escalate into serious conflicts? Arguments sometimes evolve from small things that grew big. Read More...
In the beginning, a simple divine light filled the entirety of existence... When there arose in His simple will the desire to create the worlds, He contracted His light, withdrawing it to the sides and leaving a void and an empty space in its center, to allow for the existence of the worlds. Read More...
Everybody loves a wedding. The love, the excitement, the heartfelt anticipation of a deep and lasting bond. When we speak about the beauty of marriage, we speak of deep commitment and selfless, unconditional love. But what does that really mean?
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Quietly I sat reading tehillim (psalms), with a handful of nickels and a small wooden pushka (charity box), as my hairdresser twirled my thick, beautiful curls into an updo. A bit distracted by the imminence of my upcoming wedding, Read More...
Why are so many marriages failures? And why do so many fail so soon after the wedding?
We read about the first shidduch (match) in history. Abraham sends his trusted servant, Eliezer, to find a wife for his son Isaac. Read More...
When you get married or live in a committed relationship, particularly when you have children, it can be difficult to balance work and home life. Sometimes these legitimate and competing interests can cause conflict. Here are 5 tips that will help you make home and work harmonious and improve all your relationships: Read More...
Children always have parents, regardless if the parents are married, separated or divorced. As parents, it is a major responsibility to raise our children to become healthy adults... Read More...
When a husband and wife give gifts to one another in a spirit of friendship it creates between them feelings of comradery, affection and closeness. Giving includes a full range of behaviours from giving a material gift to giving the gift of kindness and everything in-between. Read More...
Why is G-d always referred to in the male gender? We call Him our Father, our King, and always a "He". Surely G-d is not a man. Why does Judaism perpetuate this patriarchal male dominance?
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Total renunciation of sex is, in some faiths, a major discipline. In his autobiography, Gandhi calls this brahmacharya and praises its power of spiritual ennoblement. The Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox churches, as well as some eastern religions, require celibacy in certain holy orders. Read More...
Going through life with a spouse that we love is one of the greatest satisfactions in life. A small percentage of us have a natural gift for it -- the rest of us have to learn it. Read More...
My best friend just got engaged after only a month and a half of dating. She met the guy through the Jewish dating system, a Shidduch, and they are an amazingly well-suited couple. Read More...
I have an issue with religious Jews. They have this thing about not showing affection in public. You would never see a very religious couple holding hands walking down the street and certainly not kissing in public, as it is considered immodest. Read More...
Some of our sages probe not only the words of the Torah, but each individual letter as well. The foremost exponent of this method was Rabbi Akiba. It was he who taught:
“If husband and wife are deserving, G-d’s Presence dwells in their midst. If they are not deserving, fire devours them.”
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I liked your take on traditional Jewish dating, and can see some of its advantages over modern dating. But one thing doesn't make sense. In traditional circles, you only live together after marriage. Read More...
One person alone can make a major impact on any relationship. A marriage is like a seesaw: even when only one partner initiates change, it effects the other. Read More...
Why is dating so hard these days? Never in history have people struggled with relationships so much. So many of my friends are still single and looking. Read More...
Marriage is for growth. By its very nature your marriage will continuously give you opportunities to develop your character. The more challenging one’s marriage, the greater the growth possibilities.
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Marital researchers can predict with an 80-85% accuracy which couples will divorce based on self-reporting information about themselves and their partner. Read More...
A good start in cultivating emotional sensitivity is by listening to what your spouse is saying. If he claims to be feeling overwhelmed, nervous, excited or upset, you can safely trust him to be expressing true emotions. Read More...
At Jewish weddings I've seen this dance where people stand facing each
other in two lines, and then run towards each other and meet in the
middle, then
run backwards to their original places, only to do it all over again. Read More...
Picture the scene. A young man announces his engagement and arrives at the synagogue to book his wedding. The rabbi discovers that he is a kohen and his fiance is a divorcee, convert, someone previously married out of the faith, or perhaps the daughter of a non-Jewish father. Read More...
There is a common misconception about relationships. Many people think that if I meet the right person, things will all go smoothly from there. If a relationship is bumpy, if we need to put effort in to make it work, it must be the wrong relationship. Read More...
I heard an anthropologist talking about shaitels (wigs). He said how ironic it is that observant Jewish women wear wigs. In biblical Judaism, the rule was that married women should cover their hair in order to be modest and unattractive. Read More...
A great Sage, Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, in "Ethics of the Fathers", prescribed a formula for the existence of the world. He said: "The world exists on three things: Truth, Justice and Peace." Read More...
"Nothing new under the sun," wrote King Solomon in Ecclesiastes. According to the Torah, infidelity and other marital problems aren't exactly a new societal phenomenon.
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I am getting married in a few weeks and am really excited. But I have this crazy fear that something will go wrong, like I will trip under the Chuppah and the whole structure will collapse on our heads. Read More...
We have never attended a couple's retreat. We do not have a therapist. We have never had a his & hers spa day. We've never even watched an episode of "Dr. Phil."
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She glances round the house, at walls now stripped bare
She saw outlines of pictures, now no longer there.
She thinks of this house and all it has seen Read More...
When I was a kallah (bride), a friend of my husband-to-be asked me to introduce him to one of my friends in Boston, where we all were at that time. Read More...
Which is more beset by problems: a new marriage where so much has to be negotiated and jointly decided, or a long-standing marriage stressed by life's complex nature? Read More...
Avrohom decided to send his trustworthy disciple and right-hand man, Eliezer, to find a suitable wife for Yitzchok. The modern mind finds it difficult to understand why Yitzchok agreed to allow Eliezer to choose a wife for him. Is this a matter in which one can rely on others?
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A relationship, whether with a good friend, a sibling, a parent or especially a spouse, is alive only as long as life is breathed into it. Read More...
I understand the reason I will be breaking a glass under my foot at the end of the wedding ceremony is to commemorate the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem some 2000 years ago.
Judaism is very realistic in its understanding of human sexuality. It understands there is love between men and women that is unique and total, that reaches fulfillment in physical expression.
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Cell phones, text messaging, emails and all that instant messaging…while created to enhance communication, they have yet to result in more effective interpersonal relationships. Read More...