Question:
Why is dating so hard these
days? Never in history have people struggled with relationships so much.
So many of my friends are still single and looking. And even my married
friends seem to have to work hard to keep it together. What's wrong
with us?
Answer:
We are a generation of
complicated souls. Some of it is our own doing, but some of it is the
destiny thrust upon us. The knotty world of modern dating is partly a
reflection of the complex nature of the modern soul.
The search
for a soulmate will be made easier or harder depending on what type of
soul you have. The master kabbalist Rabbi Isaac Luria taught that only
new souls have an easy time finding their soulmate. When your soul comes
to this world for the first time, you are fresh and unencumbered. Your
vision is clear and your heart is open, and it is easy to recognize your
soulmate.
But for those souls who have been here before,
reincarnated souls, it doesn't come so easily. Reincarnated souls come
to the world with the baggage of their previous life, and though every
soul is born pure, a reincarnated soul is born complicated.
So
while a new soul will meet and recognize their soulmate immediately, an
old soul will have to work harder. They may have to meet many others
before they meet the right one. They may need to do a lot of growing and
inner development before being ready to recognize their soulmate. There
is a lot of stuff to get over first - like unrealistic expectations,
over-specific requirements, exaggerated self-images, superficial
hang-ups and the residue of relationships of the past. And even when
soulmates do find each other, they will have to work hard to make things
work.
The kabbalists declared that almost all souls these days
have been here before. Very few new souls are coming down. So we can
expect the search for soulmates to be more challenging now than ever.
Our souls are carrying baggage - some we have inherited and some our own
doing - and only by working through those layers do we remove the
barriers that stand between our soul and our soulmate.
The best
way to bring about meeting your soulmate is to be more in touch with
your own soul. When your soul is pulsating with inspiration and clarity,
when you are spiritually grounded and bringing goodness to your
surroundings, then you are most prone to meeting your soulmate. It may
take some effort, but that is your destiny.