"Kindness is THE miracle cure that will help all kinds of marriage and relationship problems" -- I know this is a very bold statement...but it's true. If you are, or have ever been, in a marriage or committed relationship you also know this to be true. When two people are kind to each other, there is no stopping the growth of closeness, friendship and intimacy.
Need marriage help? Kindness is the answer.
Simply said: Kindness is the best way for your marriage to get the help it needs.
When all is said and done, whether you use traditional face-to-face marriage therapy or online marriage counseling courses, without kindness being a prime ingredient in helping your marriage or committed relationship be the best it can, you will not succeed. Without kindness your marriage won't get better.
Here's why...
You married each other convinced that each of you would be kind to one another. If it weren't like this, you would never have agreed to build a family together.
Imagine, two individuals contemplating starting a business together. If either one was suspicious that the other one would eventually steal or take advantage as a result of their partnership the deal would have been called off immediately. The same is true for a marriage or committed relationship. If either you or your partner had believed that kindness is not fundamental to the relationship itself, then the relationship would have ended.
There are many ways to behave kindly towards your partner and he or she toward you. To use a cliché that is very true: The more you give the more you get. If you want love, then behave lovingly toward your partner. If you want respect, then behave respectfully toward your partner. If you want to be treated with kindness, be kind to your partner.
There is a biblical wisdom that very cleverly tells you how to behave toward your partner and if you live by, it will be a real help to your marriage or committed relationship. Simply the message is, "Don't do to another, what you would not want done to you."
If you ever have a question with regards to what is the right or wrong thing to do, ask yourself if my partner did this to me how would I feel?
If your marriage or committed relationship is deficient of kindness this will be a never-ending source of relationship problems and may even lead you down the path to breaking up. Anger, irresponsible behavior, selfishness, criticism, name-calling, assault, cheating are all behaviors opposite to kindness.
Your relationship began with kindness. And if for whatever reason, it has slipped away, it's time now to bring it back.
Make a list of 5 or 10 behaviors that when you do them, will make your partner feel loved and cared for. Write these items on a piece of paper or commit them to memory. The main thing is that you carry through with your good intentions. After several days you will be amazed as to how much better your relationship feels and how much nicer your partner is to you. This little and easy to do exercise can significantly help your marriage and committed relationship.
Yes, "kindness" can be a miracle cure.
The only time when the "kindness cure" does not work is when either you or your partner is unable to let go of the past and start fresh. If you and your partner can simply start over and behave kindly toward each other -- wonderful. If not, get some relationship and marriage help from a caring and certified relationship specialist.
In the end, if you don't fix your relationship with the person you're with, you're very likely to end up in an identical situation with the next person. Why? Because it's about YOU and how you treat other people.
If you can be kind, kindness will be returned. And if your partner will not reciprocate and be kind to you (for whatever reason) -- know that your choice to stay in the relationship is yours (for whatever the reason is the you chose to stay) and you will have to live with many relationship problems. If your decision is to stay, make the best of it and keep your expectations low to minimize disappointment.
If you can be "kind" to your partner, and he or she voluntarily and enthusiastically is kind to you, your marriage will be wonderful. If not, your challenge is to be kind, while at the same time you make a reasonable effort to convince your partner to turn himself or herself around and be kind to you.